Dear John,

this time this is only thing I wanna tell you, write to you:

"Don't worry just let me blow

All of your grey clouds away

I promise I'll never leave you

Alone in the rain"

With love,

Jess 

Dear John,

I got very mixed feelings right now about everything.

I am so sorry, that I haven`t written to you in many days. I am so shamed of my behaviour at last week. I didn`t do ANY workouts AND my Load Day... Well instead of one day, I had it almost 14 days!!!!!!! I really don`t know what`s wrong with me, but I am still trying: I DIDN`T GIVE UP! I`m still in 10 week body change program and now it`s my 5th week going. I did my workouts yesterday and today and I`ll do them tomorrow and day after tomorrow too, so then there`s last weeks wo`s and this weeks wo`s from the 10wbc program.

I do feel happiness about my school stuff. For next 5 weeks (this week including) I am at on-the-job learning passage and I gotta say, it`s great! I`m in kindergarten and in the group of two to three year olds and they are so cute and awesome!

But I got to admit: I am little bit stressed about things in home. As you might know, I got 3 year old daughter and her attitude is awful! I really don`t know what`s wrong, but her behaviour is so bad and embarrassing, that I am even afraid to go to the grocery store with her! We already went to the child health centre and talked to the nurse, but she actually didn`t give me any advices, so maybe I should go to see that nurse again with her.

I always had this motto: Family comes always first! But now I`ve started to think, that of course family comes always first, but I will not drop out school (again!) and I will not let my child`s behaviour and attitude stop me to make my dreams come true! For once I put myself first in line! This far, I`ve always been last in my line of priorities, but it has to stop somewhere and this is it: I won`t let her make me quit my practical nurse studies! AND I will NOT quit 10 Week Body Change program until I am changed and ready for my new life!

Yours,

Jess

Dear John,

I wanted to write you again even I did already wrote you earlier today.

Yesterday I had a new tattoo. I guess you might like it. I`m planning to have another one during x-mas holiday. Today I`ve been cleaning whole day and now I feel great.

But on the other hand I feel sad. I miss you. I would love to be with you, just spend some time with you, talk with you. By writing this diary I kinda am talking to you, but not with you...

Winter is coming. I wish we`ll get white christmas and lots of snow, but time will tell. I`ll write more tomorrow.

Yours,

Jess

Dear John,

today I decided to start new diary.

I want and I need to write my thoughts somewhere very often, so this is what I came up to. I`m gonna tell you many, many things and real life stories about my life, so we`ll see where my life goes.

With love,

Jess